Week 02 (2015) Waiver Wire Special

Two weeks in the bag and with virtually the whole league sitting at 1-1 it’s time for some waiver wire action or is it? Given the threadbare pickings I’m just about to list for you perhaps you’re better hanging on to those hair tearing annoying 0 pt douche bags filling up your starting line-up and bench.

QB Andy Dalton – Yup, here he is listed again. Nobody was desperate enough to take him last week, but do two above average games tempt you into starting the Red Rifle. Well consider this…Dalton is apparently great when a team hasn’t seen him before. This week he’ll face his divisional nemesis the Ravens, tempted? Thought not. Plus have you seen his schedule over the next 5 weeks.

QB Ryan Fitzpatrick – Everybody loves FitzMagic. Personally I’d never start him as he’s always one game away from morphing into Shitzpatrick and with regression to the mean likelier every time he has a good game that means the week YOU start him it’ll happen. But hey at least one coach in this league swears by him…..they even dropped Andrew Luck for him. Of course they’re also sitting at 0-2 this week 😉

QB Derek Carr – He looked good last week against a Ravens D that one week earlier made Peyton Manning look old. Is this the start of something beautiful in Oakland?

QB Johnny Manziel  – The Browns would be dumb to bench Manziel. Think of him as a rookie (a daring one at that). Playing Oakland he has the chance of scoring big, but he’s also still a turnover machine and that will keep me observing from afar.

QB Kirk Cousins – See Fitzpatrick above. He’s due a 4 int game…..

QB Jameis Winston – Despite the gushing fantasy analyst praise, i’m not convinced by Winston…..yet.

QB Brandon Weeden – We’re kicking tyres here……

QB Jimmy Clausen – See above

QB Blake Bortles- See above. He’s playing New England expect it to get messy.

QB Luke McCown – New Orleans give nothing away when it comes to injuries so we’re completely in the dark over Bree’s injury. If he starts he’ll be like all McCown’s = average play and interceptions.

RB Charles Sims – Another handcuff who’s seeing some touches, but are Tampa really a hot bed of fantasy production?

RB Chris Johnson – Bruce Arians loves RBs who don’t fumble and average 3.0 yards a carry. He’s doing a job in Arizona keeping the D honest…..he has absolutely no value to your fantasy team.

RB Mike Davis – The 49ers running game looks decent. Hyde will get a LOT of work this year. Davis will be first in line if anything happens to him. The downside is he’ll be playing with Colin Kaepernick.

RB Jeremy Langford – Matt Forte’s handcuff….do you really need a Bears RB handcuff?

RB Andre Williams – No, he really isn’t worth it…..unless you can stomach no production and the odd 1yd TD.

RB Dexter McCluster – A faster, smaller Bishop Sankey.

WR Kamar Aiken – Aiken is keeping the seat warm for Perriman. Expect 4-43 numbers and if you’re really lucky you might get a TD.

WR Doug Baldwin – He’s a WR and plays for the Seahawks…..that is the reason he’s on waivers.

WR Aaron Dobson – He’s in a high powered offense.

WR Dorial Green-Beckham – If you have room he’s probably worth a stash.

WR Ted Ginn – Carolina’s offense stinks. Ginn is fast so you might get lucky on a Cam Newton bomb.

WR Allen Hurns – I like Allen Hurns. The fantasy gods don’t thats why he’s in Jacksonville.

WR Robert Woods – He’s totally wasted in Buffalo.

WR Ty Montgomery – Montgomery is a stash and he plays with Rodgers.

WR Marques Colston – He’s old and so is Brees. Take a minute to remember how great the Saints were as a fantasy offense. Got that picture……I’m afraid to say that’s all gone now. Move on!

WR Willie Snead- See above

TE Anthony Fasano – When the shit hits the fan Mariota is looking for the biggest people on the field. Fasano fits that picture…..don’t be fooled into thinking this is worthwhile pick-up tho’

TE Coby Fleener – Allen is hurt so it should mean more targets for Fleener. However this offense has changed and the WRs are the primaries now.

TE Eric Ebron – Two weeks of trash time production. He’s perfect for the Pirates!

TE Charles Clay – Despite the crazy stats last week the Bills pas offense is shit. It’s a surprise to see Clay on our waivers considering the complete lack of TE talent out there at the moment.

TE Jake Stoneburner -no….you’re not that desparate


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