Week 2, what a week, and not just for fantasy. Here is not the place for me to address the bigger issues of the week it is the place were I can look back at a weekend of mayhem within the games and come out on Tuesday morning to one of my most glorious wins in the history of the Earlston Earthquakes. Going into the weekend my projections did not look good, the Boo-hoo-mians had it firmly stacked in there favour to gain there first ever victory against the Quakes since the league began (3-0 now though) and I was worried.
My team issues going into week 2 were many, firstly, my best receiver was looking doubtful and as he went in the late Sunday game something had to be done, up step young Mr Holmes who would get a serious upgrade if either Jeffrey or my man Marshall were to be sidelined. Next up was my issue with a certain Antonio Gates, my tight end for the majority of last season, at 34 years of age with his best years behind him he was turning out to be a thorn in my side. This wasn’t because I was up against him, he wasn’t even starting for Nitten Pickaxe, but he was stopping my lad, Green, a chance of any points. My whole draft philosophy this year was to let everyone take a tight end and I would get Green late, which I did, the Chargers would then take to the field against the Cardinals, who are terrible at defending against that position, Green would have a better game than Gates and hey presto I am a fantasy genius with a top 5 tight end all season long. WRONG. Gates is still a tremendous player and had the best game since 2005 against the Seahawks on Sunday, well done to you Mr Gates! But I digress, I needed a tight end so I went with Larry Donnell, or Lonnie Donnigan as I like to call him, for the simple reason that no one else can catch a down-field pass from Eli Manning right now and he can even do it in the end zone. Lovely.
Then I thought I would try a little bit of deception to try and get my opponent thinking that he was up against a mere fool. Last year I made the fatal mistake of dropping a certain Mr Andrew Luck, I am a buffoon I know, and picked up the smoking hot Ryan Fitzpatrick, lovingly known as Shitzpatrick in my house, to sail me through the play-offs and to victory. I was derided for the move, I was being heckled on the streets, barraged on social media and pointed at at the awards ceremony.
I set the plan in motion, pick up Shitz, bench Cutler, get Ally all comfy thinking this was in the bag and at the eleventh hour, BOOM, switcheroo, Ally craps his pants and I win every battle known to man! I forgot I was away till late on Sunday and had to change it way before the eleventh hour but I would like to think that in a parallel universe there is an Ally who did indeed crap his pants, and one were I win every battle known to man too, which is nice.
So, Sunday night scoring was sssslllllooooooowwwww. When it came to my moment of the big decision, the twitterverse was still not fully behind Marshall but he was definitely starting so I applied the rule of “always start your studs” and took my phone to bed and watched the Bears/Niners game till 2.30. At that point I was beaten, the Bears couldn’t move and both Marshall and Jeffrey looked slow. To sleep is to dream. Monday morning brought glad tidings, nearly 50pts from my Cutler/Marshall combo. I was ahead by 50+pts but he still had 3 to go, including Mr Luck, against my 1.
I needn’t have worried Darren Sproles almost outscored his 3 on his own. Highest tally of the week, 2-0 for the season and still unbeaten by the Boo-hoo’sisis. Better Luck next time Ally, I see Shitzpatrick is available. Oh by the way everyone, from up at the top of the league, I can see your bald spots.
Week 2 done,
From Behind the Purple Door.