Behind the Purple Door

Welcome to my fantasy: A spanners tale.

It began, as most things do, with some tentative glances and the odd “awright” in the street. This swiftly progressed to the odd evening in the pub with some getting to know each other style chat, then a whisper in a corner “he used to play American Football” “really” “aye, really”. That was the moment the whirlwind began. We then spent time discussing the finer points of the game, I soon realised I knew nothing in comparrision to him, and parted the evening having organised a night at mine to watch that years superbowl. On the night of the big show, I believe, the subject of fantasy was raised and had any of us tried it. It turned out none of us had but were willing to give it a go, I suppose. What followed, for me, is stuff of legend.

In late August of 2012 the inaugural draft of the Earlston Fantasy Football League(EFFL to you and me) began. The league prides itself on inclusion and makes sure all the events are family orientated rather than some sad middle aged men sitting in a stuffy room going through bits of paper, checking tablets and smartphones while trying to look as if they have the upper hand on their opponent(read gormless). No sir, not us, if we are suffering our spouses and siblings can bloody well suffer too. All in all the outcome of the draft day for myself was a complete love story and I fell fast and deep. It was believed by most that this would be just a sunday thing, majority of games are played then so it figures that one night should cover the amount of time required to sort out your team, beat your opponent and roll on your bathroom floor victorious, we have one member who, I reckon, this may be true, but for the rest of us this changed our week.

Wednesday: Check team, injury reports, match ups and getting ready for the Thursday night game.

Thursday: See Wednesday but with more urgency and purpose, try to stay up for the first half of the game.

Friday: Check the result of the game, if you had players playing see how they did(badly, short week), adjust your whole strategy in need of more points.

Saturday: See Wednesday. I’m awake for 18hrs which is a long time to stop yourself messing about with your team, more often than not I would fail and completely self destruct my team.

Sunday: GAMEDAY! Filled with constant checking until 6pm, scrabbling to find a game to watch, I would eventually ante upped for Gamepass, or Redzone the entire evening. Going through every emotion known to man as your tracking graph would move, stall then move some more.

Monday: If you had nobody playing on Monday night it is hard cramming to find a gem lurking on the waivers, if you had someone playing then it just turns out to be a long assed day.

Tuesday: Early start as you wake up to final results, see whose flying and whose failing. More waiver wire transactions. relax.

Wednesday: Pray you’ve picked up who you need and start the cycle again.


At the end of our rookie season I had made some inspired player choices, let them go, dreadful player choices, let them go(kept some for to long), had some hairy drives to try and get home to change my team at the last minute(failed), made the play-offs and had an absolute ball doing it.


All in all life will never be the same now I have fantasy football. Do I miss my old life? Not one bit. This is amazing. The season kicks off tonight with the Seahawks and the Packers, I’m looking at my roster thinking I’m going to take a hiding this year but there is a light, these guys are highly trained and highly talented athletes. They can and will produce moments of genius and I will be there to watch it. My intention is to compete and to blog about it. Let’s see if I can.


So, Mr Ally Reid, you have created a monster and for that I thank you. Have a great season everyone.


From Behind the Purple Door


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